Climactic modulator dysfunctions
by FrenchCaresse
Summary: In which I try to include as many references to Christmas as possible in a world where the holiday does not exist. Pure fluffy sex. Crack-fic set loosely in Katze's Verse. Iason/Riki/Katze.


_A little present for the readers who stuck with me through Katze's Verse._

 _Crack fic, really. Just an excuse to give these guys some fluffy times. And sex. Rated **M**._

* * *

The moon.

Iason was dragging them to the fucking moon.

Katze leaned against the wall of the shuttle, idly watching streaks of light flying by.

And not any moon either.

Some god-forsaken piece of rock orbiting a gas giant near the edge of their galaxy.

Katze used the reflective surface of the window to watch the strange spectacle behind him.

Riki was _baby-sitting._ Katze couldn't find a better word for it. After the first hour of sticking glooey tentacle-prints all over the bay-windows and ceiling, the swarm of alien offspring was now playing some kind of chasing game with Riki. Katze wasn't quite sure of the rules of their game, except that it involved jumping over certain floor tiles and hiding in the corridor until for some reason the chaser became the chasey. Oh and screaming. Lots and lots of high-pitched shrieks.

Katze pulled his coat closer. He didn't really like kids, much less tentacled purple alien ones.

The tittering tentacled wives who batted their expensive eyelash transplants and powdered faces at Iason's icy expression disgusted him even more. The rich investors at least knew the Blondie's interest in them was purely materialistic. Yet they had requested an exciting day-trip for their families, a chance to see the mining operations first-hand. Of course, Iason had smoothly agreed and left the organization of the blasted trip to Katze.

Iason throned in the utilitarian shuttle common-room, elegant in red with his reflective shades on. He maintained polite conversation with the rich aliens, unperturbed despite occasionally having to pry a tentacled minion from his leg and nonchalantly fling it onto the couch.

...

"What is it?" Riki had asked when Iason had announced the trip.

"The seventh celestial orbiting body of planet H0H0H0xxx" Iason drily rattled off the planet's identification sequence.

"It's a moon." Katze explained.

"One rich with ore." He added.

" _Oh_." Riki had said. Then he'd left to pack a suitcase.

...

Katze didn't really understand why Iason had insisted Riki accompany them to the moon.

Maybe he was just trying to keep him out of trouble in his absence.

Watching the Pet flop onto the foor, flushed and laughing with a wiggling heap of alien babies on his back, Katze was infinately grateful for his presence.

...

Thankfully, the journey was short at the speeds they were going; the ship was already landing. In a few hours they would be back in Tanagura.

The moon was just as primitive as Katze had expected. The tentacle wives _ooohed_ and _aaahheed_ at the mining base, at the rugged landscape and rumbling of machinery deep beneath their feet. The alien investors seemed adequately impressed with the top-notch transformation technology and everything was going swimmingly.

Of course, that was when the unstable star at the center of the galaxy suddenly flared in a wave of electrons that whited out the screens in the control room. Two alien wives fainted while the children curled into quivering balls. Even the business-men looked pale; an interesting lavendar hue rather than their usual deep violet.

After the initial panic, the humans learned that the race they were hosting was extremely sensitive to electro-magnetic disruptions. It was decided that an evening of rest was necessary to allow them to overcome the ordeal and face the trip back to Eos.

While a spiced cider was served, the flustered mining director dispatched personnel to rapidly transform his largest conference rooms into a temporary accomodation. The mining base was hardly equipped for luxury, and the children were already becoming excited again at the prospect of an adventure. The lights flickered and the young ones screamed in delight. Yes, Katze was quite sure they were recovering just fine.

Iason, Katze and Riki stayed with the aliens until they were settled in and refreshments were being served.

Iason bowed his good-byes, only to be met by a white-faced president who apologized to the First One but there just were no more rooms at the small operations base. As it was, three families were staying with friends to give precious space to the generous alien investors.

The lights dimmed again and Katze frowned. The glow settled to it's regular orange and Katze learned that part of the generator had been fried by the electro-magnetic discharge. Engineers were working to stabilize the system.

The frazzled director mopped at his forehead and desperately offered to lodge the three of them in a small research-base located at the pole, ten miles away.

Katze agreed. The poor man already had enough problems to deal with and there truly wasn't any other option. Katze hoped Iason wouldn't complain too much; if he got angry, Katze would ensure it was directed at him.

Iason merely nodded at the news, following them out to the flying vehicle with his red cape flaring.

Riki huddled next to his Master in his leather jacket; he wore a weird red hat lined with white fur, crooked on his fore-head. When Katze pointed with his chin, Riki shrugged.

"Elf gave it to me."

"Elf?" Katze asked

"Lfwerrrtickj. Or something like that. One of the kids." Riki straightened the hat. A white pom-pom flopped onto his shoulder.

"Elf." Riki finished, settling a cigarette between his lips.

Katze lit his own cigarette and he couldn't have answered, even if he'd wanted to, over the noise of the motor roaring to life. With a rattle and a choking thump, followed by a large puff of smoke, the vehicle rose into the air with a lurch.

Iason's hair whipped about and Riki cuddled closer to him as the wind bit coldly at their cheeks.

Much too cold.

Trouble with weather control undoubtedly.

Katze eyed the ground flashing by much too fast, and much too far below, for such a hazardous means of transport.

Thankfully, the North Pole wasn't too far.

...

Sure enough, they soon arrived at a tiny structure hugging the dusty ground.

"What is it?" Riki asked.

"Standard-issue temporary lodging structure." Iason answered without expression.

"It's a cabin." Katze clarified.

"Or maybe a shed." he added, jiggling the key uselessly in the door.

" _Oh_." Riki said. Then he scratched one calf with his sneaker. The wind was really picking up.

...

Their driver, Rudolph, pushed Katze out of the way and put his shoulder against the door with a grunt. It creaked open.

Inside was pitch-black, until Katze fiddled with the electric panel to get the independent generator to kick in.

It began to rain torrentially.

Riki and Rudolph hurried to get the luggage inside, while a harsh yellow glow filled the cramped space.

Rudolph blew his red nose loudly and deposited a final bag of food on the floor. The small table was covered with pieces of vegetation; strewn about were some test tubes, a set of goggles and various scientific equipment.

"Well." The miner said. "It's small, but it's dry."

He scratched his neck. "I'll be back with the flying sleigh tomorrow."

"Sirs." Rudolph gave an awkward bow. Then the door slammed on him and the rain.

"Soooo." Katze surveyed the place again. Iason was just standing there, majestic and expecting to be served. Typical.

"We should clear the table, if we are to eat." Katze proposed.

Riki pushed his dripping hair behind his ears and shivered. Iason noticed.

"I shall light a fire before you get sick." The Blondie managed to sound both condescending and worried at the same time. And Katze realized that there was, indeed, a fireplace. Iason headed towards the lean-to where wood was piled high.

Riki and Katze began to move prickly branches crowding the table to the only other flat surfaces, the window sills and fireplace mantel.

...

"What is it?" Riki asked, sniffing suspiciously at fragrant needles.

"Pinopsida gymnosperm pinus subgenus ducampopinus." Iason informed him drily, coming in with an armful of logs.

"Pine branches." Katze explained.

"Or some kind of conifer." He added, sticking clumps of red berries into the thick green foliage.

" _Oh_." Riki said. Then he turned around with a handful of pine-cones, contemplating putting them in the fire. Shrugging, he disposed them randomly in the branches adorning the window-sill instead. Most likely, the scientists wouldn't be too happy if Riki burned their botanic experiments.

...

Katze stood back, admiring their handiwork. All that greenery made him think of Raoul.

Iason, displaying surprising Blondie ressourcefulness, had a fire crackling merrily.

He flicked the harsh overhead light off, letting the dancing light of the fire illuminate the small room. Shadows chased each other across the ceiling and the clean smell of burning wood comforted Katze.

Riki grimaced, shuffling closer.

"My feet are wet." He complained.

"Take your shoes off." Katze answered with an eye-roll, looking around the small space for something they could use as a third chair since there was only two stools at the table.

Riki did, disgustingly hanging his wet socks on the mantel. He wiggled pink toes delightedly in the warmth, taking his soaked leather jacket off too.

Iason watched Riki's rounded toes as the Pet sank to the floor by the fire. The intensity simmering behind the blank look on Iason's face made Katze freeze. Fuck, he knew that look.

Riki lay down, stretching obliviously with his arms crossed under his head. His t-shirt rode up, baring a tan sliver of belly. Katze shivered, lust squeezing the breath from his lungs.

Iason watched Riki like a hungry predator and Katze tried to melt into the wall, awaiting his next action.

And sure enough, Iason pounced on Riki.

In one graceful leap, Iason was sitting on him; he straddled Riki's prone body, holding him tight between powerful thighs. The Pet gave a startled yelp that morphed into an appreciative moan when his Master's fingers swept under his shirt.

Katze watched, unexpected tenderness in his heart as Iason took his gloves off and Riki arched beautifully under his caresses. The mongrel's t-shirt rucked up under his armpits and Iason thumbed a dusky nipple.

Riki's pupils dilated. His hips pushed into Iason and his mouth fell open.

"You..." Riki punctuated this with a hip roll into Iason's firm ass. "...are much too dressed."

"And you..." Riki's head rotated and his black eyes fixed Katze. "...are too far away."

Iason shook his hair out with a tiny smile. His blue eyes were unusually warm.

"We're all alone here." Katze whispered the realization without thinking. The air charged with crackling tension, suddenly.

"Indeed." Iason agreed huskily.

"And we have all night." He added in satisfaction.

Fuck.

Katze was inevitably drawn to the couple by the fire and time suspended then.

For endless minutes, they exchanged slow scorching kisses. Arousal made the air thick, and clothes were loosened and discarded. Katze savoured the slow build; he doubted that Iason, with his penchant for teasing and denial, would allow them to finish so soon.

He didn't.

Riki's dick on Katze's tongue was warm and pulsing, the mongrel's hand toying idly with his hair. He sighed softly when Katze licked langorously, just to watch him shudder.

Iason's body was hot behind Katze's, the Blondie's large hand stroking firmly over his pants. Inevitably, the words Katze had dreaded, expected, _hoped for,_ were breathed into his ear.

"Enough, love. We have all night."

Katze kissed Riki's throbbing cock-head one last time, straightening. Iason's hand twisted his head too far back for a blistering kiss that tasted of the musk Riki's penis had been leaking into Katze's mouth. The Blondie groaned, nostrils flaring.

"Please?" Riki asked breathlessly, rolling his hips.

But it was a half-hearted plea and he didn't really seem disappointed when Iason shook his head. No.

"Then let's eat." Riki said, pushing himself up. His naked body was muscular and beautiful in the firelight, taking Katze's breath away.

Iason and Katze shared a happy glance, pure enjoyment of the moment; alone, all night!

Then Katze moved to the pile of luggage in search of food. His pants rode low on his narrow hips but he felt better partially dressed. Riki remained gloriously naked, except for the red hat he'd plopped back onto his head. Katze dug his fingers into his thigh when Iason helpfully started a low buzz in the bracelet that kept him at least somewhat hard.

Iason was just as naked as Riki when Katze turned around, dwarfing the sturdy stool he sat on.

The Blondie poured rich red wine into three coffee mugs while Katze unwrapped various self-heating packages.

There remained the problem of lack of seating, which Iason solved by imperiously patting his knee while eating Riki up with his eyes.

Riki balked.

"Fuck, no." He said, waving at Iason's massive erection that hovered a few inches over his left thigh. It pulsed under their scrutiny, until Iason pressed his knees together, hiding his crotch.

"Maybe it doesn't bother YOU." Riki grouched. "But I'm not sitting on it! There's no way I'll be able to eat, whether your boner is poking me inside or outside... And I'm fucking starving; running around with kids is a lot of work!"

Riki's hair had dried in a strange shape, sticking up in the back and flopping in the front. Iason tenderly pushed his Pet's bangs to the side. Then he kissed the tip of his nose and ordered "Get my cape, then, Pet."

What a sight they made then! The tall Blondie was pure ivory skin, naked except for the heavy red cape draped around his shoulders that he kindly pulled over his knees. His glorious hair tumbled around him and his wide chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. Riki sat gingerly in his lap, then sighed and melted against his Master. He curled quietly for a minute, then tried to put the ridiculous hat on Iason, who growled and flung it across the room.

...

"What is it?" Riki asked, poking doubtfully at the pale meat on his plate.

"Aves galliformes phasianidae meleagridinae." Iason supplied drily, turning over a root vegetable in brown sauce.

"It's turkey." Katze clarified. He licked weird red jelly off the prong of his fork. Tart, yet sweet. Not bad.

"Or maybe chicken." He decided.

" _Oh_." Riki said. Then he shrugged and dug in, chewing vigourously.

...

The food was actually quite nice. Katze liked the crusty roll best; he forgot to eat most of his supper because Iason's strong hand idly stroking along Riki's thigh distracted him.

The Blondie was restraining himself impeccably, biding his time despite the temptation of his naked Pet all over him. Katze could read the seething frustration that Iason tempered with increasing difficulty in the tenseness of his jaw, in the _lack_ of expression on his face. The suspense _hurt_ , a tight ball in Katze's stomach that left no room for turkey dinners.

There was cake and ice cream for dessert. Iason seemed to enjoy drizzling hot butterscotch-sauce over it and feeding Riki spoonfuls. The moans of delight he made were purely pornographic and Katze's ears turned red. God.

"Awesome." Riki sighed contentedly.

"Gotta piss!" he announced suddenly, leaving Katze and Iason to share coffee.

The moment could have been awkward, except it wasn't. Iason was relaxed and playful; the cup of wine he'd drunk had mellowed Katze just enough to take the edge off.

Iason watched him with his eyes reflecting almost purple and Katze swallowed.

The Blondie gestured and Katze circled the table to sit lightly on his Master's knee. Iason dragged a gentle hand through auburn curls and then they were kissing again.

They sank into it, and Katze couldn't help but marvel how his life had changed; kissing Iason was now not only possible, it was _right._

Iason nipped at his lip.

"Stop thinking!" he commanded, amused.

"Sorry." Katze said, but it came out all rough and rather sultry.

Iason smiled again and kissed him some more. Katze dared to let his hand stroke over broad shoulders and glorious Blondie hair.

It was a while before they needed to breathe, and Riki was watching them with dark eyes.

Katze's face was... priceless. The normally composed dealer was thoroughly kissed; his delicate features were slack and his lips were swollen. His hair was mussed up and mesmerizing in the firelight and his amber eyes were soft and unfocused.

Riki stepped closer and Iason's arm snaked around his companion's back.

"So beautiful." Riki said, tracing a finger under Katze's jaw.

The dealer blinked owlishly at him and Riki shared a chuckle with Iason.

"Fuuuck, what you do to us!" Riki said wonderingly.

He turned his attention back to Katze.

"You look... filthy debauched. God, it's hot." Riki's fingers were crawling along Katze's stomach and it was distracting. The castrate closed his eyes and held back a sigh.

"Are you hard?" Riki whispered into his neck. "You look like you're hard."

Katze colored and stiffened, self-conscious. Iason's arm tightened against him, preventing him from rising and the Blondie's eyes sparkled curiously.

 _Of course_ , Riki had to go and ruin it.

"I..." Katze's head was spinning too much and Riki's hand was fumbling into his pants.

"I'm hard." He declared, just as Riki's hand landed on his sticky semi.

"I'm so fucking hard." Katze said again, chin jutting.

"In my head." He added, claiming Riki's mouth in a fierce kiss that shut up whatever idiocy he might come up with next. The Pet wasn't arguing Katze's claim. Maybe he knew of Raoul and his numbers. Or maybe he didn't care.

Iason watched his lovers kiss. His dick throbbed, pushing insistently against the heavy fabric of his cape.

Iason rose smoothly, tumbling Katze off his lap. The dealer caught his balance immediately, graceful as usual.

"Bed-time." Iason declared, slowly pulling on his dick.

Riki moaned.

Katze pulled the Pets hand from inside his pants and tried to focus. Riki just transfered his grip to his own dick instead and Katze pushed the hair over his scar with trembling fingers.

"There's a self-inflatable matress; if we push the table to the wall we should have room to..."

Iason pushed both of them towards the door.

"I'll do it. Go have one disgusting smoke for the evening. Then it's sex-ti, ummm, bedtime."

Katze grabbed the cape and he and Riki huddled in it, standing on the cold doorstep and giggling.

The night was peaceful and silent. The air was heavy but for now, the rain had stopped.

Iason had indeed fixed a large bed on the floor in front of the replenished fire when they returned. He was sitting, leaning against cream pillows, blankets of red and green piled cozily. Katze was surprised by how ressourceful Iason was proving to be tonight. Perhaps being alone with them allowed him to drop the haughty facade more than usual?

"I want to watch." The Blondie ordered, his long hair appearing darker; a more tarnished gold than usual in the firelight. More like Raoul, actually, except without the curl.

"You want us naughty, or nice?" Riki purred and Katze could hardly breathe as he shucked his pants.

"All I want, for tonight..." Iason rumbled "... is you."

Riki and Katze kneeled together, sharing a long look. Iason's show started with a tongue-filled kiss that soon included a hand job. Then Riki was blowing Katze as the fire flared and made them sweat. Hot, _too hot_. Katze's ribs sucked in and his small ass contracted as he pumped a bit into Riki's wet mouth.

Iason joined in then, dragging his massive prick down Riki's bent back. The Pet whined around Katze's dick, his ass pushing up delightfully.

Sometime later, Iason got busy sucking Riki's toes. The cute little digits that had been taunting him, earlier, and Iason indulged in a thorough tongue-bath, cheeks hollowing. The way it made Riki writhe... God, Katze had to suck him then; slow and deep, trying to calm the Pet.

Katze jerked when Iason played with his ring, creating an intense buzz in his bracelet. _Eight,_ his mind supplied.

The castrates body was not sleeping, but he wasn't even close to five, much less eight! Iason didn't say anything, just left the vibrations like that and returned to tormenting Riki.

It drove Katze _mad_.

The slow kisses and smooth caresses they shared were in direct contradiction to Raoul's training that was screaming _eight eight eight_ at the back of his mind _._ Fuck. Katze tried to control the urgency, forcing himself to be slow as he fingered Riki's ass open; his abs kept jumping, straining for _eight eight eight._

"God." Riki breathed.

"What did you do to him?" He asked Iason, and Katze gave him a second finger for that.

Iason smiled.

"Just checking the progress of Raoul's work." The Blondie shrugged, but his satisfaction was palpable.

" I, _ah_ , I wish you could see yourself..." Riki said on a grunt as he rocked onto Katze's lazy fingers. "So intense."

Katze pulled his fingers from Riki's ass, watching how the bud clenched tight in relief. He pressed his wrist hard to Riki's perineum, letting him feel the vibrations. Riki bit his lip, hips rolling, and Katze placed his hand over the Pet's dick. Higher than usual, fingers over his belly-button, trapping his cock-head under the insistent buzzing.

Riki groaned and his cock leaked.

"I should be almost cumming at that intensity." Katze admitted, trying to breathe through the urgency.

"I'm..." His dick was twitching softly, slumped between his legs; the frustrating contradiction threatened to make Katze lose his fucking mind. He gently ran his fingers over his crotch, pressed a splayed palm wonderingly to his lower belly. For once, he didn't mind the frustration. It felt _good_. Soon, he would be able to be raging hard without touch. Raoul was giving him the most precious gift of all: almost feeling normal.

"Keeping myself acting all slow and gentle with the urge so strong is..."

"Intense." Riki supplied. "I can see it in your face, God."

Katze's fingers filled him again, three this time. Riki's head fell back against the pillows and his eyes closed.

"Maybe." Iason's voice was gruff. "Maybe you shouldn't fight to be slow and gentle. Maybe that's not what I want..."

"Maybe that's what _I_ want..." Katze replied, barely audible. And Iason hummed and gave him slow and gentle, everywhere except where he needed it, until Katze was just about ready to cry.

Eight eight _eight_. It still vibrated the very marrow of his bones. Fuck, he wanted someone to touch his dick.

Riki was watching them, playing with his balls and obviously avoiding his own cock on purpose. It throbbed rock-hard anyway.

"One day, " Iason promised him, "I'll use your cock-ring to make you understand how Katze feels, Pet."

Riki's breath was all messed up but he sounded sincere when he said. "Thank you. I'd like that."

And Katze really couldn't understand Riki, his fascination for the castrate's plight inexplicable; but then Iason's fingers were working into Katze's ass and he stopped trying to think. He just _felt_.

He leaned forward, braced heavily on one hand with the fingers of the other buried in Riki, as Iason slowly stretched Katze's hole. Slow and gentle became strained then, fraying at the edges.

Katze's mouth parted on half-swallowed cries and sweat covered his body; always the bracelet urged more, more, _more_.

Until, finally, Riki was fucking into Katze's ass. On all fours, the castrate stroked his dick luxuriously.

The shout that Riki gave when Iason shoved into him blended pain and want into a glorious soundtrack of pure lust; the cry seemed to echo in the shadowy room.

It didn't last long after that, it _couldn't_.

Iason fucked Riki steadily,while he was buried in Katze. In reality, the Blondie fucked them both because the Pet merely let his body rock in time to his Master's powerful strokes.

Eight, eight, _eight,_ the bracelet never let up. Katze's hand worked over himself, faster, and YES, finally, he was at eight physically too!

His quiet sigh of relief was drowned out by the continuous moans pouring from Riki. The Pet's cock dragged in and out of Katze's ass, gripping drag of friction, but the angle didn't allow him to reach very deep inside.

It was good anyway.

Then Katze gasped.

 _Ten_.

The bracelet had just jumped to ten and Gods, did Katze want it. His hand slid over his wet length and he shuddered.

"Aahh." Riki moaned at how Katze's ass spasmed around him.

"Ten." Katze begged incoherently, out of his mind; needy blend of the moment and his endless torture sessions with Raoul.

"Yes." Iason's smooth voice reassured from far away. "Ten. Cum, Pretty. "

So Katze came, fucking hard; sparks raced up his spine and pleasure exploded inside his head.

Iason groaned contentedly; Katze shuddered at the slickness up his ass, as Riki orgasmed too with a fervent "Yes,yes, yes, oh my god, Yes."

They flopped in front of the fire then, a pile of limbs and sated bodies.

Sleep came, eventually, under red and green blankets.

The last thing Katze noticed before his eyes closed was the odd sight of Riki's socks backlit by the fire, hanging from the chimney.

...

"What is it?" Riki asked in enchantment the next morning.

"Climactic modulator dysfunction." Iason answered coldly, tugging his clothes straight as he appeared in the doorway.

"It's snow." Katze explained, sucking his cigarette to life.

"Or I think it is?" He'd never seen snow, but he'd read a description once.

" _Oh_." Riki said. Then he ventured forth into the gleaming whiteness.

...

"It's beautiful!" And Katze had to agree with Riki.

The dazzling snow covered the rocky ground as far as he could see. It completely transformed the dusty brown landscape into a glittering wonderland that seemed both crisp and somehow softer.

"Oh!" Riki said again, when snow got into his sneakers and wet his newly dry socks.

"Cold!" Riki laughed out loud in delight.

Then, quick as lightening, he hurled a handful of snow at Katze and ooooh, that was a mistake. Coat flaring, Katze launched himself after the Pet who shrieked with glee. It wasn't really clear who was the victor from where Iason stood by the cabin, watching as they chased each other around the yard then disappeared around the side of the building.

Iason smiled, breath puffing in the pristine air. It was nice to see his lovers so relaxed.

He had a second to realize things were _too quiet_ before a wall of snow hit him from the side.

 _"Riki!"_

Iason roared and he would have tackled him, except Katze suddenly landed on the Blondie's back, leaping from the roof.

With an _oof_ , the Blondie went down and then it was a flurry of arms and laughter and shoving. Cold fingers tickled and hot mouths kissed and it was all just _perfect_.

...

None of the aliens wondered why the First One had a large wet patch on his cape during the ride home.

Or why his Pet wouldn't take a silly red cap off, nursing a split lip.

They never even noticed the quiet smile that wouldn't leave Katze's pointed face.

It had been a most strange weekend, the stolen moments of pure pleasure shared with Iason and Riki better than any present Katze could imagine.

It was like something from a story, almost.

A crazy weird happy story.

One full of good cheer. And sex. Katze twisted the bracelet on his wrist.

Oh yes.

Katze would treasure the memory of fire-side sex and snow fights.

* * *

 _Happy holidays! Time with loved ones is truly the best present!_

 _xxx_

 _FrenchCaresse_


End file.
